Bullies Cause Depression

There is something that can make every day harder. That is the dealings of my kids. It is no secret that I have a hard time being far away from my family. The people around me can see the funk that I am in. My yoga instructors notice. The ones I have met that I call friends can tell. When my kids wake up and don’t want to go to school because of bullies, it ruins my days.

Yes, there are bullies every where. But they seem to be in abundance here. Our first year here with the kids in school I was giving the kids their adjustment time as well as myself. Being from California seems to be enough reason for kids here to pick on you. Summer came and the new school year started off fantastically and I thought we were going to have an awesome year. I thought wrong.

Already one fight. Constantly being made fun of, so much so that one of my kids has taken everything off their walls in their room afraid to draw anymore attention to themselves when kids come over. Doesn’t want to add anymore fuel to the fire for the kids. It is heartbreaking. They are afraid to wear certain clothes that they love to school because of kids picking on them. Somewhere it is already hard for me to be, is even harder for me to stay and tolerate.

I have given my kids the tools they need to get through these moments. My ears and heart are always open for them. As a parent, standing back and letting them tread the waters on their own is so hard. I so badly want to throw them a life-preserver, pull them in and assure them they never have to get back in that nasty water again. But I can’t do that. I want them to be strong. To learn to overcome this diversity. That not all kids are ass holes.

When they were little, dealing with bullies was something I never thought about having to deal with. I was worried about diaper rash. Broken bones. School work. But never self-esteem and confidence from being bullied. It actually never crossed my mind when they were little. Nothing could have prepared me for the hurt that my kids feel on a daily basis. When I was their age kids were mean but not like this. We were always able to make friends and in turn able to tune out the ass holes. Here, you can’t make good friends when they are all a bunch of ass holes! They pretend to be your friend when no one is around and then get around some other kid and start poking fun at your expense.

My kids are my people. When they hurt, I hurt. So my funk has intensified greatly at the moment. I find my eyes welling with tears and me holding back not letting it go. Soon I won’t be able to hold back and I will be ugly crying in the shower!

I am pulling my kids out of school for a week. We have family coming and I think it’s time for some spiritual rejuvenation.

Happy Tuesday My Friends


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Is It A Fabulous Friday???

Just when you think it’s going to be a Fabulous Friday, you wake up to the sound of cats Meowing and the smell of Cat piss, all for the sake of trying to have a cleaner house and changing the style of cat box. Damn you new inventions that scare cats but drive the curiosity of humans. Damn you all to heck!

Let’s try not to let this ruin our day. For it is Friday. The day the weekend begins. The day that begins our break of 5 am wake ups, even if it is only a break. Let us look for all the things that make this day Fabulous. I can tell you it’s not the “Cash Dash” that’s happening at Delylahs school that she insists me being at. Which means I must skip yoga to attend. It also means I have to run. I am not a runner! Or a jogger. Maybe a speed walker at best but that’s pushing it. Another thing that doesn’t make today Fabulous is me having to call the doctor’s office for the umpteenth time because they are too “busy” to do what they are supposed to do and fax a piece of paper off so I can call a different doctor and make a much-needed appointment.

But none of that is looking for what makes today Fabulous. So let me begin to dig deep here. Real deep……………….

It is Friday. That is where I will start. That alone makes today Fabulous. Tomorrow I don’t have to wake up at 5 am. Today I don’t have to have dinner done by 5 pm or showers at 6 pm because we don’t have to be in bed by 8 pm. We can actually watch a movie. The whole thing! Because, did I mention, we don’t have to be up at 5 am tomorrow?

We are finally selling Travis’ old car. We bought him a new car at the beginning of September and I have finally cleaned out the old car and put it up for sale! We have had some interest in it and hopefully it goes quickly!

Our house is ready for Halloween! My favorite Holiday of the year! The yard is decorated. The inside of the house is decorated. There are a few final touches that need to be made and then I will post some photos for all of you. But I am so happy with how it has all turned out. Yesterday we finished up the graveyard in the front yard and it looks awesome! I can’t wait to scare some kids!

Levi’s grade in math is almost to a C! From an F to a C! This is a very Fabulous thing! They just skip right over a D here in Texas, I can see why. It’s pretty much the same thing as an F. So anything under 70% is an F. But he is just shy of that 70%. Go kid Go!

I have been having a rough time. Just me, in my own head. Plus with the Holidays coming and not being back home with the family it’s just a hard time for me. But I have a very busy couple of months coming up that include trips back to California and family from California coming here. Fabulous things to keep me from losing my shit. Hopefully!

At this particular moment, it’s quiet. The cats are not meowing from being locked up with their cat box from peeing on my bed. The dogs are not barking at anything. There are no trash trucks driving up and down the streets with squealing brakes. A fabulous moment of silence before I begin a small workout and truly get my day started.

What has you feeling Fabulous Today?


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Things I Didn’t Anticipate As A Child

When you are a kid you see grown ups as these gods. Able to do anything they want. Go wherever they please. They can drive and have fun. They can use copious amounts of swear words and drink alcohol. All you want to do is be one of them. Then it happens and you realize there is soo much more that comes with it than those grown ups were really letting on.

Now that I am nearing my mid thirties I can tell you there is an abundance of things I didn’t anticipate would happen when I grew up.

Paying Bills. Having Bills. Finding bills after I forgot where I put them. I remember getting my first credit card when I was 18 and not understanding interest. Paying it back was such a bitch. I never used it again and have since hardly used the credit cards that I do have. Why do they make it look so fun and cool when you’re a kid?  Why don’t they tell you that credit cards actually suck?

Children. Ya, we were cool kids. Maybe. But now I have my own and I don’t like sharing my sour gummy bears. Or arguing about shoes when we are about to head out the door. Or being late because all of a sudden someone has to poop when they were playing video games all morning and had plenty of time. No one mentioned the exhaustion that was going to come, not from the baby/toddler years but from the elementary/junior high years.

Menopause. Another thing no one mentions when we are kids. All you old bitties just look so cute with your make up and hair done not mentioning the night sweats, anxiety and loss of sexual appetite. How the hell are we supposed to cope when it hits us unexpectedly in our thirties when you hid it from us?

Natural talent is a myth. Growing up family tells you how talented you are but now that I’m an adult and have kids I realize no one is talented. Most of what we think of as natural talent is really just the result of having started practicing early.

Social Interactions with people other than family and close friends. As in, parents at school and/or the kids extra curricular activities. Work parties. Pretending to be interested in other peoples lives when you are barely staying above the water in your own. Trying your hardest not to let your eyes glaze over mid conversation and let your mind wander to what you could be doing if you were home. Better yet, you’re not in the corner or sitting at the table alone, not conversing at all. All of my grandparents made social interacting look so easy.

The constant chaos that is life. As a kid I watched my parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles work, party and play. But as a kid that’s all I saw. I didn’t realize what was actually going into daily life for any of those people. Even at 18 while taking care of my grandma and being with my grandparents constantly I didn’t realize how truly busy my grandpa was. Now I have a family. A house, kids, animals, a yard. All things that require my attention at some point of everyday. All things that require me to be constantly busy. Some days I wish I had my ranch back and had more to do. Some days I wish I could sit and do nothing. But it ends up balancing itself out. I just wish someone would have mentioned how busy I was going to be a little sooner in life.

Grocery shopping. Having to shop and supply food for your family and then cook it! I realize that someone did this for us as kids but I guess I just thought that someone would always be doing this for us. Now it’s meal planning. Shopping and actually making the food that I planned for. Plus cleaning up the mess. And don’t forget listening to at least one person complain about something on their plate.

Drinking. The drinking sure looked like a ton of fun as kid. I never saw the hangovers or messes that came with the drunken shenanigans. I just thought I couldn’t wait until I could do it. I remember my first hangover and thinking I was going to die! Why was this never mentioned!? Why did they make it look so awesome!? Those dirty deceivers! And the mess you make while getting so drunk that someone has to clean while super hung over. And the kids you still have to take care of! Why of Why would anyone want to do this to themselves!? Or make it look so fun!?

Now I am a grown up and get to do all of the things I thought were fun when I was a kid. Some of the things I still find fun, some not so much. It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. When we are kids we are all artists of some type. The problem is how to remain an artist as we grow up. If you’re feeling blue, try painting yourself a different color.

Happy Thursday My Friends


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What’s In My Purse??

I’ve been seeing this a lot.

What’s in my bag/purse?

Probably a lot of useless crap but some of it is probably stuff you can’t live without. And if you still have small kids you probably have a diaper, some wipes and other useful things in there.

Well, here’s my purse.

The zipper is busted. It’s not very big. It is a cross body so my arms can be free to grab my kids, items off shelves or run away from ass holes if need be.

There’s just one big pocket with a zipper on the inside and 2 small pockets and I literally just shove everything in it blindly but keep my keys hooked on it so I don’t have to look for them. Smart right?

And this is what’s inside. Very random. Tea bags. Business cards as well as insurance cards and my kids immunization cards (which are not pictured). Receipts that are trash. Hand sanitizer. Chap stick and lip stick. Pens. Money. Tampons. My wallet that my money never seems to be in. A vegan, fruit and chia seed bar. My elephant pouch that hold hair ties. A pad of post it notes. The eye-glass cleaners are always in every pocket. There are about 3 of them here.

When I take it all out like this, it looks terrible. It doesn’t look like those other girls who have their shit together. It sure looked better all tucked inside, not knowing what was really in there. I don’t wear lipstick except for special occasions so it’s just in there. I don’t like those Vegan bars but you never know when you will be starving. And my daughter’s hair is passed her butt and hair ties are a must all the time!

The items I couldn’t live without in my purse would be my wallet, tampons, the hair ties, my lens cleaner and chap stick. So why is all this other shit in there? Because I am a woman and everything gets thrown in my purse.

What are some items you can’t live without in your bag?


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