We moved from California to Texas. Both places get exteremly hot! Only now when it’s 90 degress we also have 100% humidity to deal with and that makes it 100 times hotter and worse to go outside in! We keep the air at 76 and the kids only want to go outside to swim. That’s it! I thought it was bad enough having to buy my kids new shorts since they haven’t worn them in a while and have out grown everything and having to shave my legs daily. But now we have to go out into the insufferable heat because that’s what we do! Parenting in hot weather sucks!
ALL THE CRAP YOU HAVE TO PACK TO LEAVE THE HOUSE- Yeah, it takes an hour to leave the house in winter but that’s mostly because of all the clothes you have to bundle your kids in. In summer, you have to pack the whole house and medicine cabinet. God forbid you go anywhere without bathing suits, towels, gallons of water, snacks, buckets and pails, sunblock, insect repellant, and…I’m probably forgetting something, right?
SUNBLOCK- I know I mentioned it above but sunblock deserves its own entry on the shit list. I hate sunblock—so much. My kids hate having it applied. I hate putting it on them. I hate cleaning it off. I hate that I either have to spend my paycheck buying them sunblock without horrid chemicals or use cheap sunblock that is obviously going to kill them. Lose, Lose here.
HAVING TO BATHE YOUR KIDS- I can usually get away with bathing my littles once or twice a week unless something unusual happens but in summer, I really have no excuses. We have to get the chlorine, bug spray and sweat off. And sitting in a stuffy 90 degree bathroom every night while my little guppie splashes happily in the water is absolute torture.
HAVING NO CHOICE BUT TO BATHE YOURSELF- As a full-time mom, I don’t have time to shower daily. I just don’t. But in extreme heat, I have no choice. Sometimes I need two showers a day, which means I have to listen to my kids wreck my house twice a day while I wash the sweat off my sad, sorry self.
ANYWHERE YOU GO MUST CONTAIN A/C OR WATER- When it’s really hot, local parks and playgrounds aren’t OK unless they have sprinklers. Even hanging out in the backyard doesn’t work unless water is involved. (Thank goodness we have a pool) Water is fun but it’s also a royal pain in the ass, especially when you’re dealing with wet bathing suits and wet children on a daily basis. If you don’t take your kids somewhere outside, you have to strategically plan to be in places that have air conditioning; most do, but you’d be surprised how many places are still in the dinosaur ages when it comes to cooling systems.
METAL BUCKLES IN THE CAR- Just getting into a hot car with a kid is an annoying ordeal in and of itself. But I have to zero in on the buckles on the car seat for a second because they are my nemesis. That and the leather seats! You ask your kids to buckle and get annoyed as hell when they are screaming in the back seat. It took me a minute to figure out that they had seared their legs but once I figured it out, I felt like the worst mother in the universe. (for a minute) Beware the metal buckles in the car during the summertime—they are the devil!
WRECKED SLEEP SCHEDULES- You’d think the heat would wipe the kids out but they are impervious to it. Plus, the sun is still out at 9 p.m., so it’s impossible to convince them to go the hell to sleep. Of course, they’ll still wake up at the crack of dawn, no matter what time they crash.
MOSQUITOS- I like some bugs. I make sure my kids don’t intentionally kill them. But mosquitoes? Screw you, mosquitoes. You carry diseases and your main job is to bite people and drink their blood. Plus, the welts you leave on me and the kids are ginormous and keep them up all night scratching.
HEAT=CRANKY- The humidity, especially, just messes with my patience. It’s totally rage-inducing. And the kids aren’t any better. Cranky kids + cranky parents = World War III, the summer edition.
OK, I know these are all First World problems. I should be grateful that I have access to sunblock, clean drinking water, pools, and air conditioning. There are a lot of memories to be made over the course of a summer. I like the freedom of our long days and how exhilarated my kids are to be running around wearing practically nothing and sucking on popsicles by the dozen.
But I still find summer—especially the extreme heat and humidity—to be a total buzzkill. I want it to die a slow, hot, merciless death.
Happy Hot Summer Days My Friends
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