As each day passes I watch my kids grow in ways I don’t think I expected when I first became a mother. I knew they would grow up and be teenagers and adults one day but all of the aspects that come with that growing can be astounding.
Delylah is 6. She got to go to Disneyland yesterday with friends and arrived home very late and half asleep. But not sleepy enough because she began to tell me how “cool” Disneyland was and how much fun she had. Even when I said “Ok, it’s time to sleep,” she kept rambling on. She’s like her mother in that way. Never stops talking once she has something to talk about. At 6 years old, using phrases like “It was very interesting, I just don’t feel well, That is ridiculous.” It makes you laugh when big words and phrases come out of a 6 year olds mouth but then makes you wonder if she knows the words. Although she must. She uses them in the right context. She likes to be her own person and is always the first to walk up to kids on the playground at the park or anywhere and say “Hi, I’m Delylah what’s your name?” She loves and hates to school. She likes to learn but hates work. She was once this small baby watching “Your Baby Can Read” videos and now she’s a young girl learning about making choices, the consequences/reactions that come with that and how to be a respectful human being. I love that my kids say “yes ma’am, yes sir, no ma’am, no sir.” Respect is getting lost in the new generation but if just a few kids hang on to it they may be able to spread it around.
Levi is 10! All things pubescent are in the air in Levis world right now. Like Delylah, he will spout words and phrases other kids his age do not and he understands them better than some adults. He has always been my shy, not outgoing, stick to mamas side kinda guy. As of late though he is breaking out of his comfort zone. For the first time (I’d say ever) he walked up to a kid at the park and just started talking. They didn’t exchange names, I guess that’s a girl thing but they did talk for at least 30 minutes with Levi being the initiator. This is HUGE! Since I started home schooling Levi, he has come out of his shell so much more. I’m sure it has a lot to do with other kids and their judgy ass hole remarks that Levi will have to learn to deal with in life no matter what. But he doesn’t have 30 other kids judging his every move during class and even more during lunch and recess. He’s free to be a nerd and enjoy his subjects or sometimes not. Other people have noticed a difference in Levi too and that is amazing. We have struggled with Levi’s anger and emotions for a long time. To see him want friendships now, to right his wrongs on his own and not be so sensitive about people just looking at him warms my heart. He was once this angry kid with outbursts that didn’t like to be around people and is now learning to control his anger, fix his wrong doings, break out of his comfort zone without being pushed and start the conversations.
Sometimes as a parent you think you’re doing everything wrong. You can’t fix everything and it tears you up. I have had to learn to let that go when we couldn’t help Levi. I couldn’t fix him, it was something he had to learn on his own and he has begun that process and it’s amazing to watch as it unfolds. Sometimes you have to let things run their course and let kids learn to fall so they know how to pick themselves up. One of the hardest things as a parent and one of the most rewarding. You think you are failing. But if you just wait long enough you will reap the benefits of watching your children grow larger from it than you ever thought possible. They grow and so do you! How is that failing? You taught them more by letting them learn to deal with it than you ever could have by taking over. Something that has taken me a while to learn. The best parts of parenting come from knowing they will be ok no matter what.
Embrace watching them fall, learn and grow.