THINGS THAT KEEP MOTHERS A BIT MORE SANE

I am a grown-ass adult and sometimes I get yelled at for not being fancy enough or for driving too fast or that I need to stop singing—by my kids.

I often find that I need something to help me get through these days of being yelled at. Simple things that give me happiness and help me feel like I’m more than a walking human Kleenex. Not that my children don’t give me happiness, they do, but they also give me fistfuls of food that they don’t want to eat and the common cold about 10 times per year.

It doesn’t take much to make me feel better, so here are some examples just in case you need to feel better too-

80’s music or any up beat music for that matter- I’m looking at you Journey, “Tainted Love” and anything by ’80s Micheal Jackson. There’s just something about certain songs that make me feel like I don’t have to be responsible for anybody else’s bullshit but my own.

Sunshine-It helps so much and sometimes I don’t even realize how much I need the sun until it’s been gone for a while and my kids start looking at me fearfully whenever my head turns full circle in their direction.

Controlling just One thing- When I’m really struggling, it’s usually because I feel like everything is totally out of my control. Sometimes just taking my junk drawer and dumping the whole thing out and organizing it makes me feel more normal, which may say something about me that screams OCD, but oh well.

Comfortable pants- I won’t say yoga or leggings, because well, I’m sick of people talking about yoga pants. But you know what I mean. And while I’m at it, I would probably take off my bra and all of a sudden, my whole worldview would be clearer, zipper-free and non constricting.

Coffee- I once tried to stop drinking caffeine but then I realized that I like being a functioning member of society and recognizing my loved ones’ faces.

Looking at old journals-  Laughing at how angsty and lovelorn the younger me was is quite refreshing as I gaze upon my husband’s unwashed underpants. I kind of want to reach into the paper and shake myself every once in a while, but overall, it makes me feel better about where I’m at now.

Camaraderie- Talking to women who are dealing with similar life challenges is probably the easiest way to help me feel like I’m not as crazy as everyone sometimes suspects I am.

Carbs- Brownies, cookies, donuts, chips and dip. Just carbs.

Bath and a locked door- Can make anyones day!

Laughing at stupid stuff on the internet- I really don’t know how our mothers survived without access to Damn You Autocorrect. People post the dumbest stuff and I benefit with laughter!

Exercise- This sounds annoyingly healthy but I find that if I want to keep from flinging someone out a window, I need to have at least a skeleton crew of endorphins floating around my system. Sometimes…

Grocery shopping…Alone- I realize this is a sad testament to where my life has devolved to when I consider this as a luxury or vice. But there you have it. No body to answer to and I get to dally down every aisle if I want!

Alcohol- I think I’m required to put this one on here or else something of mine is going to be revoked—probably my Discount Liquors punch card.

Shaking the day up- Sometimes just throwing an entire planned day out the window and going to get a freaking ice cream cone or to the movies can be better than therapy.

Just saying, “Well, today freaking sucks”- Admitting defeat can be oddly freeing when you’re standing on an unidentified turd from an unidentified child. Tomorrow may suck too but it’s tomorrow and you can really only deal with the suckage at hand.

So there you have it—who knew we were all just a bagel away from turning into Mommy Dearest.

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2 thoughts on “THINGS THAT KEEP MOTHERS A BIT MORE SANE

  1. I am loving your site! You write with such humor and joy (its contagious!). I think it’s SO important to inject some humor into the mix to help keep us sane! I have to recommend a book that I have bought for all of my mommy friends who need a little comic relief called “Where’s My Award? How to Get Baby Barf Out of a Red Carpet & Other Tales from a Working Mom in Hollywood” needs to be added to the list! The book is written by former stand-up comedian turned celebrity publicist Margot Black (http://margotblack.com/) and it is a hilarious read for working moms who are trying to balance their career and their family. Her working mom struggle is real. Who has time for bake sales when you have a Miss Malibu event to PR? Her life is hectic and crazy and exciting and I loved reading about it. The author writes from the heart and is ridiculously funny throughout. I hope you and your readers will check it out! Thanks again!

  2. LOVE this! Sometimes, you just need a little something to make you feel better. Alone grocery shopping is one of my favorite pastimes-ha! But, seriously these are some great suggestions. My 13-month-old has been a teething fiend lately…I also ate a whole pan of brownies yesterday…haha! Thanks for sharing <3

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