As I get older the things that matter to me are becoming crystal clear. The things that aren’t, well they can go screw themselves. My clock is ticking away everyday. I am not gaining time, I am losing it. For that I realize, I simply do not have time to bullshit anymore. I am letting go of the things that don’t matter or bring me down. I will not dwell on the past or obsess over the future. I will not care about what anyone else thinks about my life and how I choose to live it.
What I want is to be happy. Surround myself with things and people who bring me joy and happiness. Each year, I find myself saying goodbye to more of the nonsense that has cluttered my life. “No” has become easier and easier to say. I love how it rolls off my tongue. I love how, ironically, it no longer carries a negative connotation — saying no to one thing means saying yes to something else.
Here are my top IDGAFs that have emerged lately:
I don’t care if my kids are star students- While I want them to succeed, I also want them to be happy. I want them to do well because they want to. I want their motivation to come from within, not my nagging.
Worrying about how I look- My cottage cheese thighs aren’t going anywhere. There is beauty to be found within me. What I radiate is what people will see and how they will see me. Not my cellulite.
Holding on to dysfunctional friendships- Maybe the time for some of my friendships are over. That’s ok. Let’s just agree that we get to choose who we want to be surrounded with and that is awesome!
Letting my freak fly- I’m a little strange around the edges. We all are. But I’m not going to cover it up anymore. Don’t like my chipped toenail paint, my wall full of off beat weird sayings, my off -color humor, or my many F-bombs? See ya later then.
Apologizing- How many times a day do we say sorry? You teach your kids to apologize for just about everything. Is that truly necessary? NO, it’s not. Are you sorry you drank too much? Are you sorry you don’t make your kids pick up their rooms before company comes over? Not really. Why even say it!? I’m not sorry!
Fashion- I am not fashion friendly. In high school I wore a rainbow shirt covered with a plaid button up because I thought I was cool. Really, I like to be comfortable. I don’t want to squeeze into skinny jeans that hurt when I sit down or after I eat. I don’t care if it looks killer on me, I care about how I feel when I wear it. My style is my own.
Being afraid to ask for help- This one is big for me. I never used to ask for help no matter how much I knew I needed it. I am an independent woman who can handle her shit. But since our life was changing with moving and stress over took me, I began to open up and just say it. I NEED HELP! You know what happened? The people who love me were there for me and helped me in any way they could. I am no longer afraid to say it or accept it.
Dwelling on the past- Does it matter what happened when you were a child now that you are almost 40? Not really. Holding onto it is what is killing you. The past is a place to visit but not stay or live in. Shit happened. It sucked. Now it’s time to move on.
Toxic people- They may be family or close friends. They guilt you, make you feel bad. Hurt you without knowing it. No amount of saying how you feel helps them see it. Guess what? You can say no to them. I do say no to them. I do not want someone in my life that isn’t going to help me better myself in some way or another. That doesn’t want to give me happiness or see me happy.
Letting go isn’t always painless. It doesn’t always feel safe and nice. The older I get the easier it has become to let go of the things that weigh me down. It’s not selfish. Caring for yourself is the only way you can care for someone else too.
So, stop trying to be everyone’s hero. Lose the cape. Stop the shit and make your own IDGAF list and start checking items off. You will feel so much better!
Happy Tuesday My Friends
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