Apologizing to kids is a natural response only because we are adults and were taught to be polite. But we don’t have to apologize to our kids or someone elses for every little thing. Yes, I’m sorry I forgot to pack your lunch yesterday and I’m sorry I forgot to re-up the toiler paper in your bathroom. But here are some things I’m not sorry for-
Not letting you play on my phone like it’s yours- I let my kids play my phone but I downloaded or 2 games for each kid and that’s it. They can’t have it every time they are bored somewhere or every where we go. It’s MINE! They have tablets and IPOD’s and all kinds of other crap. Leave my crap alone! And no, you can not download whatever you want on whatever you want. UGH!
Being myself no matter whose around- They should be awesomely proud to have a mom who is happy in her own skin! Who is not afraid of who she is. Who is comfortable with how she dresses, talks and acts no matter who is watching. I will not pretend to be who they want me to be, I am ME! I will not skip telling them how much I love them before we part each morning because their friends are there or not give them a kiss. I have no problem reminding them how much I love them by yelling it at the top of my lungs out the car window as I pass.
Letting them know I’m disappointed in them- This is one of life’s lessons. I’m not sorry I have to teach it to you. Most of the time I am proud and entertained by my kids but there are times when they do things to disappoint and I must tell them when they are in the wrong. Comes with the job. I know their potential and when they aren’t living up to it. I am the one who will let them feel the awfulness that wells up inside when you have disappointed someone who believes in you. I protect them from a lot, but I will not protect them from experiencing that uncomfortable feeling. It will help them when they are older.
Not always covering their asses- I have always got my kids backs. ALWAYS! But if they leave their lunch at home, homework at home, band equipment at home I’m not going to run to school and drop it off for them. I always remind them of they need and so they shouldn’t be forgetting it. When and if they do, it’s not in my job description to save them. In fact by not bringing it to them I am helping them more. They will learn to be more responsible for their own things because of the natural consequences that will occur.
Keeping it real- If my kids know me at all they know I keep everything real. There is not trophy for everything-ness. It feels better to earn whatever you win or whatever you want and need. I can’t stop the well-meaning people who blow sunshine up my kids’ butts about how wonderful they are at everything they do, but I can make damn sure they don’t rest on those assurances and make sure they put in the effort to get better at what they’re doing every day. I can’t protect them from every single bump life throws their way, but I can let them know life is hard, bumps are normal, and it’s up to us to keep our chin up to try to find the good from all the hard stuff we make it through.
I love my kids and I do apologize to them. But there are times when you don’t have to or that you maybe shouldn’t. They will still love you and know that you love them too. Teaching your children valuable life lessons is nothing to be sorry for.
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