The Weight Of The House

My days disappear.

People I meet ask me if I have a job and I reply with “No, I’m just a stay at home mom and my kids are both in school.” Some people give me a smirk, some people tell me how important my job is and some people still ask me what I do all day.

I can tell you that there are days I feel like I never do enough and maybe I should be out looking for a job, contributing financially to our family. There are also days where I feel like I was a rock star housewife, parent and person altogether and love my job. No matter which feeling my day ends with, the days go by so damn fast that I wonder what happened to 1pm.

I know the days that I feel like I’m not doing enough, I am. By the end of every day I am always exhausted.

Parents who stay home don’t give themselves enough credit and don’t get enough credit sometimes either.

Sometimes I’d like to plant my ass on the couch with a glass of wine until my ass print is molded into it and leave my empty glass on the table for someone else to deal with. “Sorry family, fend for yourselves today!” I can’t do that…of course. No stay at home parent can. Even when I’m sick, I go through my daily routine. Dishes, laundry, picking up, wiping down, homework, meals, animals and the bazillion other things it takes to keep this place running like a well oiled machine. That way in the rare event that I am down for the count, this place doesn’t deteriorate in matter of minutes.

I don’t think my family knows how much they actually depend on me. Bills, meals, laundry, toilet paper, shampoo, clean clothes, new clothes, no dog poop to step on in the back yard, a clean pool. The list is literally endless. I guarantee that they would be astonished by the amount of things I actually do, little and big, if I just stopped doing them.

Keeping the garbage disposal from smelling. Cleaning the cat box. Making sure their school folders with their homework are in their book bags everyday. Keeping a mental inventory of the snacks, lunch meat and toilet paper we have. Making sure all the bills we have are paid on time so the electricity is never turned off or their precious cable T.V. Keeping all our important papers together so taxes are a breeze as well as any medical crap that needs to be handled. I clean off the porch’s everyday so dog hair, pine needles and other crap doesn’t get tracked in the house. Stupid things, like charging devices.

I’m not gonna lie. Sometimes I wish my family got just a little taste of how much I take care of. Then they would realize when I say I have no idea where the time went, was because I was so busy that I literally don’t know where the time went. When I’m ready for bed at 8 pm with the kids, it’s because I was busy all day long. Never on my butt for a minute. Being a stay at home parent is a physical, mental and emotional job. And it’s under appreciated.

I am lucky to have a husband that appreciates what I bring to the table. He helps me with anything and everything and is willing to give me a break no matter what the job is. I don’t think he quite understands the severity of how much I actually take care of but he is willing to sit, listen and learn. It’s such a compilation of little and big things. I have to remind myself that my kids are not ungrateful little heathens. They just literally have no idea. Even the biggest mountains are made from the tiniest grains of sand. The fact that I do it and tend to not only the obvious details but the tiniest ones too, is my gift to my family.

It’s a gift to myself too. A gift of not having to shoulder the weight all those grains of sand at once.

To you fellow stay at home parents I say- Keep On, Keeping On

Happy Wednesday My Friends

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