Stupid Shit My Kid Says

Sometimes I say some stupid stuff but the stuff my kid says takes the cake.

In the past few days I have heard some heart wrenching, ridiculously stupid things that make me wonder…

“I will just live in my car when I move out.” Really kid? Just because you know it’s something I did and you’re pissed at me right now doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

“I wish you were never my mom.” Well guess what? You wouldn’t be here and if you were, no one else would put up with your shit either!

“My friends mom let’s them do it.” Cliche but I’m not your friends mom, I’m your mom and you’re screwed!

“No body likes school. School is for idiots.” Not everyone dis likes school and most everyone realizes they need it or they will say stupid shit like this!

“I’m not impressed with you.” If you can’t tell, there is a trend here. I’m the bad guy and if he was impressed with me when he was getting into trouble I’d question it.

“When I grow up I want at least 6 kids.” Oh buddy….I’m never going to babysit for you. I tell you all the time your kids give back to you ten fold what you do to your parents. He’s going to be screwed!

I love my kids. Sometimes I have to tell myself that in my head over and over as they are yelling and saying rude things to me. Most of this riculousness was yesterday. Lucky me! It mostly happens because he speaks to me like an ass hole and then gets in trouble for talking to me like that and he hates to be in trouble. When he doesn’t get his way I all of a sudden don’t love him…in his mind anyways. There is no reasoning or understanding with him when he’s mad at me. I’m just mean and he believes no one elses parents make them speak nicely. It’s a hard life being 10 and learning how to be respectful.

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