MOM RULES FOR SURVIVAL AND LAUGHTER!

Mom Rules that will help us survive or just laugh it off.
If your “tween” didn’t want you to embarrass them, they shouldn’t have asked for a ride to the mall.
Supposedly, pain makes you stronger, tears make you braver and a broken heart makes you wiser. But alcohol makes you not remember any of that crap!
Wine pairs beautifully with good chocolate, fancy cheese and mother hood.
Never celebrate a victory unless you want it reclaimed.
The car does not move until all whining in the car has stopped.
Go ahead and leave the dishes in the sink. What are they gonna do? Fire you!?
Stress Less about the mess.
Anyone who tells you to sleep when the baby sleeps has never had a baby or laundry.
A mom friend that asks you to clean for them isn’t really a friend…
Stickers on your ass and markers on your face are the new black.
Always have a bossy friend over for play dates. Someone has to be in charge.
Don’t be afraid to try new things with your kids.
Eat your lunch and make some trouble!
You can be a lousy friend but an awesome mom. That’s really OK!
Good moms do not have sticky floors. Clean that shit up!
Mommy really means business when mommy starts talking about mommy in the third person.
One of the greatest gifts of motherhood is faking a child’s illness to get out of things.
“Mommy watch this” is the kid equivalent to the adult “Hold my beer.” It usually means something funny and stupid is about to happen. So, Watch this!
There’s a reason they call it girls gone wild. When girls go wild they show their tits. When women go wild they poison their husbands food.
Whatever happened before coffee, stays before coffee.
It’s okay to have fend for yourself night.
It’s funny how relatable these actually are. Now, go make some Mom Rules of your own!
Happy Thursday My Friends

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4 thoughts on “MOM RULES FOR SURVIVAL AND LAUGHTER!

  1. Huh. I actually do want to make some ‘rules’ of my own… And also LOVED this one:A mom friend that asks you to clean for them isn’t really a friend…
    Oh no, that is not a friend. Neither is the one that says “You look pregnant today.” NOT. a friend.

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