It’s hard to make friends when you’re a mom. More importantly to keep them.
You have these tiny humans you pushed out or adopted or whatever and now you need friends more than ever!
You will go and try to find them anywhere you can but here’s my advice that you can shun at your own risk.
Parenting Classes- Yes you will go and meet lots of moms going through the same thing as you but none of you have actually had your babies yet. But these friendships are destined to failure because you can’t tell what kind of parents anyone is going to be from their breathing techniques. More often than not conflicting parenting styles (especially with infants) is a slow death in friendships.
Baby socializing groups- Same as above. Babies haven’t had any time to be ruined little ass holes yet so you don’t know what kind of parents you are talking to. The baby surely can’t tell you. To find out sit yourself down pull out a bottle for the baby and a drink for yourself. This will separate the real from the fake. The ones who come over because they didn’t bring enough drink mix for themselves are the ones you talk to.
Toddler playgroups- These have easy to spot moms to talk to. Just watch as they pull up to the play ground. The real ones will be frazzled have fishy crackers falling out of their cars when they open the doors. Kids with their hair not brushed. That’s your mom to have adult conversation with!
Elementary school- Your kids are busy making friends all through the elementary school years. That doesn’t mean you have to be friends with every single one of those kids moms. Dig deep. Find out who they are through your kid before making that “mom friend” leap! These are also the years of PTA moms. But be careful. Being a PTA mom you either are ok where you are and being told what to do or fighting your way to the top! Which means other moms will hate you!
High school- Well it’s a little late to be making “mom friends” now isn’t it? Your kids want nothing to do with you. You don’t even know who their teachers are! Besides everything is now run by a secret of coven of Queen Bees that raise money for the band and find you unworthy. Those bitches!
Work- Everyone is fighting for the top dog position and bitches are ruthless. Never forget that! That mom will do what it takes to get that 2$ raise to feed her family of 6 before you get to feed your family of 7 just because she can!
If you have been successful in finding awesome woman friends in your life over the years, whether you are a mom or not, it is an amazing thing. Those same women that got wasted with you, held your hair or you held theirs, went through morning sickness with you, squabbles and bullshit with you, will still be there with you during your transition to menopause. Those are the ladies you want to keep close. Deal with their shitty moments with love and understanding because they deal with yours too! Celebrate your lives together and stand by each other fiercely!
I am grateful to have 2 beautiful ladies in my woman tribe and by my side for life! It really doesn’t matter how who I’ve known the longest they are both my best friends and I love them unconditionally!