How to Create 20-Plus Years of Friendship

I have to admit when I was running around in middle school being an obnoxious, awkward teenager I had no idea that I would meet my best friend! I sometimes wonder how we have tolerated each other for all these years! But together, 2 decades now, we have created an unbreakable bond. This is my rationale as to why I have a kick ass best friend for life and things that have helped me grow and maintain friendships over the years.

Write Notes- Back when we were in school we wrote each other notes. Crazy amounts of notes! Today we send texts and Facebook more than we write notes but the writing part is still there. Our notes back then had our “other” names in them that we practiced writing to perfection!

Have Sleepovers- The key to a successful sleep over was making sure you got as little sleep as possible. There was less technology back when we had our sleep overs so this was more of a challenge than it is for kids today. But we were all over the place and into everything. We sat up listening to music, yelling out the window/door or balcony of apartments at people and doing things teenagers are not supposed to do….they all do it. I think.

Watch Scary Movies Together- Who else is going to explain to you that it’s all bull shit and there’s nothing to be afraid of. Or maybe we should just have another drink. That’s what friends are for.

Fight With Them- Get pissed off at them. This will make your friendship even better when you do apologize. Everyone knows that a sincere apology leads to a good heart to heart talk.

Be Their Should To Cry On- You knew that guy was a douchebag and that her mom was always a meanie. Be there when she needs to cry about it. She’s always there for you too.

Go To Her Wedding- I’m a crap friend and didn’t make it to her wedding. (I’m Sorry Mel) I’m sure I had a good reason but don’t remember what it was now.  But she was the matron of honor at mine. And if she got married again, I’d be there no matter what.

Rejoice At The Births Of Their Babies- The first time is always the hardest and the weirdest. No one knows what to expect or what to say. We were young when the first time came but I was the supportive best friend because I love her. It didn’t matter that I had no idea about being a parent. I was happy for the next chapter of her life. When it was my turn she was the same. Then I got to be there for the births of her last. To share an experience like that with your best friend creates memories that will last a lifetime. Creates a bigger bond that we may not even have known we could have.

When She Loses A Parent Be There For Her- Grieve with her, go to the funeral. Chances are you knew her parents. And chances are you liked them…maybe. Being there in their time of need is important for her and you. It surprised most that I left my kids and went to be with my best friend when she needed me the most but I would not have wanted to be anywhere else.

When She And Her Husband Divorce, Be There For Her- Neither one of us are here yet…Hopefully we won’t be ever. But if we are we will be together talking mad shit about those ass holes. (Sorry Travis and Sean)

Celebrate Their Children- Be proud of how their children turned out. Share parenting tips and stories about the kids. Laugh about the silly mundane things they do.

Don’t Stop Connecting With Them- Use social media, Call them, Go visit. Text me when you’ve had too much to drink…that’s usually me. Tell each other how much you love each other. Laugh, Cry, Cuss!


Once you’ve gone through thick and thin with a friend you know they aren’t going away. You might go days or even weeks without talking to them but when they call and say they need you, or just call at all, your world stops! Your husband and kids all know you will now be on an hour long phone call and “try” not to bother you. They might not have the same DNA as you but they sure as hell are family!


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2 thoughts on “How to Create 20-Plus Years of Friendship

  1. I love this post, friendships like this don’t happen very often. It’s hard for me especially since we move a lot to keep friendships strong, I know I can do better. So thank you for this!

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