How To Be The Worst Parent Ever!

As parents we can and we do so many things that piss off our children. We think we are doing great but they hate us or don’t like us, won’t listen to us, pout about stupid things that we are trying to talk to them about. They ignore us. In order to be deemed “the worst parent ever” you must follow some of these steps.

Force your child to apologize- Apparently teaching your kids how to be respectful isn’t tolerated by many kids world wide. How dare you make them apologize for being an ass hole and in front of people no less. But they had no problem being an ass hole in front of those people. Such a bummer for them but now you are the worst parent ever. How could you?

Don’t allow your elementary aged kid or junior high aged kid to have a social media account- Because every 7th grader is posting play by plays to their day. “Just had ice cream.” “Watching T.V.” I know Levi wants an FB account at the ripe old age of 12 but he is nowhere near ready for it. “But mom, all my friends are on FB.” Good for your friends buddy. Maybe they are mature enough to not click on outside links or smart enough to know that “HENRY” who just messaged them is a sex offender and they aren’t writing him back even though he’s a super cool dirt bike dude. Yep, I might be the worst parent ever!

Make your kids do their homework/schoolwork- You have some nerve forcing your child to do their homework EVERYDAY! They have to sit at the table too! You are such an unreasonable dictator! They just want to play video games or play outside. They promise they will do it after dinner. But no. You are the worst parent ever making them do it right after school. Then you check their work and sigh….You start to wonder why you even reproduced. You clearly hate your children for putting so much pressure on them to succeed in school. You MONSTER!

Make your kids eat what you have already prepared for dinner- Apparently kids everywhere hate whatever their parents spent the last 2 hours cooking for them. You don’t care how that green bean gets into your kids digestive system but they may not get up from the table until it’s in their belly! Eat the damn legume, kid. Just eat it!

Correct your kids manners in front of people- Someone just said Hi or That’s a cool jacket, you damn well better say Hi or thank you back or I’m going to hold you there until the words sputter from your lips. You don’t get to just ignore someone who is speaking to you. And you definitely don’t get to be disrespectful. I want to hear you utter the words “please, thank you, you’re welcome, no thank you, I’m sorry, nice to meet you” whatever it is, you will say it because you are listening when people speak to you. Yes, I am the devil teaching you how to be a respectful human being!

Now you know where your parenting skills stand. If your kids are constantly hating you for implementing rules and regulations, like mine, then CONGRATULATIONS! You are doing an amazing job!

Happy Wednesday My Friends

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