Everyone has a screwed up family. EVERYONE! You may be thinking to yourself, “My family isn’t screwed up. We are perfectly normal.” But really, every family has members that are screwed up, if not most of them. It has been that way for so long that you begin to think it’s normal. It is. It’s your families normal. Here are some ways my family is screwed up-

Most of them hold everything that bothers them in, until they explode like diarrhea coming from their mouth and then it hurts everyone. EVERYONE! Unlike diarrhea, which should only hurt the person that has it. Then bring everyone into it, mentioning Tom, Dick and Harry so that it becomes that much more explosive. Everyone loves explosive diarrhea!

When things get rough, drink it up! We all drink when we are happy but when shit gets rough the bottle gets thrown back a lot more. Hence the diarrhea.

No one knows how to say they are sorry. Let’s all just be pissed and hold onto everything our whole lives so that we constantly have this diarrhea instead of saying a few simple words. “I’M F-ING SORRY.” That really isn’t that hard. It doesn’t take the stupid shit away but if you really are sorry, you feel better. That’s what should matter. Get over shit. Nope, not in this family.

No one has a filter. That must be why the diarrhea gets so bad.

Everyone talks over everyone. And loudly! Don’t expect everything you say to ever be heard. Everyone talks at the same time and I missed half the shit you said.

This goes up to one above- People always bringing up the past. No matter that the stupid shit happened 10, 20, 30 years ago. You are still holding onto like it will be fixed and love to throw that shit in people’s faces when YOUR life isn’t going great. Sometimes it’s better to forgive, never forget but move the F on people.

The jokes…are terrible!

These are only some ways my family is screwed up and I still love them. I don’t care that we are all shit talkers and only some of us know when to shut up. I don’t care that some of us bring up the past (I used to be one but learned nothing “good” will ever come from it) and throw around stupid words. I love my family and all their screwed up ness. Sometimes we are just STUPID!

How screwed up is your family?



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