Crazy Things Parents Say

As parents we’ve all had to turn to some pretty insane phrases at one time or another. The question is, have we gone bat shit crazy? Or are the children certified for making us utter the words at all?
Here are some weird things parents say to their children…I know I’ve said a lot of them.
“Do not eat the gum you find under the tables.”
“Stop touching my boobs!”
“Get your feet off the table. We are trying to eat.”
“If you’re going to scream like that you better be hurt bad or dying!”
“What is that? Is that mud? Is that chocolate? Oh No, is that poop? Don’t tell me just go wash it off.”
“What did you just wipe on me?”
“Stop writing on the wall. I don’t care if you’re drawing me a picture, use paper.”
“You don’t pee in public. You just don’t.”
“I’m only going to say it one more time.” Only you say it at least 5 more times.
“That frog could be your prince. Give him a kiss and lets see!”
“Stop speaking in weird languages.”
“I don’t know if that’s a boy or a girl.”
“If your butt is itchy, you probably aren’t wiping very good.”
“You guys need to be more quiet. Mommy drank too much yesterday.”
“Just because you find it and it’s alive does not make it your pet.”
“Don’t look at me with those eyes.”
“When you have kids I hope they’re just like you.”

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