Circles Of Friendship In Adulthood

Friendships in adult hood are weird.

When you’re a kid it’s so easy. “Hey, I like your shirt. Wanna be friends?” The other kid is like “Ya, Let’s go play!”

As an adult when you do that the other person thinks you are crazy for even approaching them in the make up aisle at the store and they begin to back away slowly. From you….the crazy person!

As you get older and have kids it’s easier to navigate the ways of friendship. “My kid talks about yours all the time. We should get together.” And BAM! You’ve made a friend.

Then you have friend categories..

The Besties- These are the women/people you’ve been friends with for years, and while you may not live close to some of them, they still hold a special place in your heart. Even if you haven’t seen them in six months, you’ll still catch yourself talking about them as though you the two of you just enjoyed a coffee and dessert date. You fall back into the rhythm of friendship as if no time at all has passed between visits. You imagine yourself retiring and visiting other countries together. Like Panama!

The Preschool Moms- As previously noted, these are the moms whom you initially befriended for the sake of your kids’ friendships. Nothing makes you feel better about the rough and tumble way your kids behave than seeing another mom gritting her teeth while trying to wrangle hers into the car. A mom who understands that when kids play there will be tears is the best kind to have a glass of wine with. A quick “SOS” text and a lunch date is scheduled so you can have an adult to talk to while your kids entertain each other.

The Mutual Friends- These are the friends made through friends while hanging out with friends. Sometimes these lead to awkward acquaintances, other times your friend’s “You two would get along so well” turns out to be the holiest of truths. Girls’ nights and holiday parties will never be the same. I met one of my best friends through my husband!

The Couple Friends- An absolute must for keeping a happy spouse while enjoying a social life. Finding a girlfriend who has a husband that your partner likes hanging out with is pretty much the best. The guys talk sports or whatever-the-hell while the moms drink cocktails and the kids trash the house. Bliss.

Co-Worker Wives- While they are mostly acquaintances, no one understands the pains and frustrations of my issues with my husband’s job like his coworkers’ wives. While I can talk to any of my friends about my husband’s job, the co-worker wives get it. Everyone needs space to talk that doesn’t require a half hour of pre-explanation.

The Extra Curricular Moms- This applies to anyone dragging their kids to a preplanned activity on a regular basis—dance, sports, music. I honestly never in a million years thought this would be a category in my life. Levi has played many sports and we have become friends/acquaintances with a lot of parents this way. Thinking about being a soccer mom filled me with an icky feeling of conformity. I’m a tattooed, pierced, multi colored-haired mom who swears! What am I going to have in common with these suburban women? But cheering on our kids and watching them grow together has granted us a closeness that has blown us all away. Having women who not only understand but assuage my fears of raising a tween kids in today’s society has been a sanity saver, too.

I may have a best friend or 2—people who know all the things about me, whom I can share every detail of my life with, and who can finish my thoughts. But I also have good friendships with people who are experiencing the same phases of life that I am, and through our commiseration, laughter and tears, I have all that I need.

What kinds of friends/acquaintances do you have?

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