There is something that can make every day harder. That is the dealings of my kids. It is no secret that I have a hard time being far away from my family. The people around me can see the funk that I am in. My yoga instructors notice. The ones I have met that I call friends can tell. When my kids wake up and don’t want to go to school because of bullies, it ruins my days.
Yes, there are bullies every where. But they seem to be in abundance here. Our first year here with the kids in school I was giving the kids their adjustment time as well as myself. Being from California seems to be enough reason for kids here to pick on you. Summer came and the new school year started off fantastically and I thought we were going to have an awesome year. I thought wrong.
Already one fight. Constantly being made fun of, so much so that one of my kids has taken everything off their walls in their room afraid to draw anymore attention to themselves when kids come over. Doesn’t want to add anymore fuel to the fire for the kids. It is heartbreaking. They are afraid to wear certain clothes that they love to school because of kids picking on them. Somewhere it is already hard for me to be, is even harder for me to stay and tolerate.
I have given my kids the tools they need to get through these moments. My ears and heart are always open for them. As a parent, standing back and letting them tread the waters on their own is so hard. I so badly want to throw them a life-preserver, pull them in and assure them they never have to get back in that nasty water again. But I can’t do that. I want them to be strong. To learn to overcome this diversity. That not all kids are ass holes.
When they were little, dealing with bullies was something I never thought about having to deal with. I was worried about diaper rash. Broken bones. School work. But never self-esteem and confidence from being bullied. It actually never crossed my mind when they were little. Nothing could have prepared me for the hurt that my kids feel on a daily basis. When I was their age kids were mean but not like this. We were always able to make friends and in turn able to tune out the ass holes. Here, you can’t make good friends when they are all a bunch of ass holes! They pretend to be your friend when no one is around and then get around some other kid and start poking fun at your expense.
My kids are my people. When they hurt, I hurt. So my funk has intensified greatly at the moment. I find my eyes welling with tears and me holding back not letting it go. Soon I won’t be able to hold back and I will be ugly crying in the shower!
I am pulling my kids out of school for a week. We have family coming and I think it’s time for some spiritual rejuvenation.
Happy Tuesday My Friends
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