There is no shortage of parenting advice out there when you are pregnant or have small children, let alone when the become teenagers. I have found that there is often one parenting tip that gets over looked. “Don’t forget to have a sense of humor!”
Parenting small kids is ridiculous! There is really no way to put that. It’s rewarding, consuming, can be fun and sometimes the most beautiful thing ever. But sometimes the daily dose of absurd things that happens require a sense of humor or you may just go nuts.
Here are just a few reasons being a mom requires that sense of humor.
Shit Happens- I’m talking literal shit! And not just the kind that makes it into a diaper. At some point in your early parenting life, you will be chasing errant poop marbles around your house. Those things are fast and wily. They only come from the butts of small children and they are impossible to keep contained to a diaper. I suggest you find the humor in having a scavenger hunt for literal shit around your house. And maybe having to wipe it off the walls too.
You will leave the house with vomit in your hair (among other things)- I know – it sounds crazy. What kind of self-respecting adult leaves the house with someone else’s vomit in her hair? The kind that hasn’t had time to shower or look in a mirror. If you happen to catch of glimpse of your reflection after you’ve left the house with puke in your hair — or worse, if someone points it out — laugh like a crazy person. It’s really the only choice you’ve got!
You will find yourself trying to reason with a 2 year old, then again when they are 5, and again when they are 10- Some time around the age of two, your toddler will begin taking immense joy out of being a little ass hole. At such a point, you will begin asking your little minion why she doesn’t want the juice she just fucking asked you for. Then you will put that juice away. Then she will want it again. Then you will attempt to explain why she can’t just change her mind constantly all day. Then she will scream. Then you will realize you have just spent 20 minutes trying to reason with a being that does not understand logic. You will do this again when she/he is 5 and at 10 you finally get it and stop the insanity…maybe.
Enter laughter. It’s just better than crying — trust me.
You will eat off the floor- Not intentionally. You won’t look at your small child’s discarded meal and think, “Wow. That looks delicious.” You will just be so consumed with multi-tasking that putting a few pieces of toddler floor food in your mouth seems easier than attempting to carry it to the garbage. Don’t get introspective at that moment — it may thrust you into a shame spiral. Just laugh.
Someone will be really mean to you- Do you read and/or dare to comment on any parenting articles? Someone will disagree with you. That someone may be a total ass hole. Don’t worry. People misunderstand each other and/or take out real life issues on each other all the time on the internet. It comes with the territory on parenting blogs, parenting issues, basically all things parenting for some reason. It’s nothing personal. Laugh it off.
Something you love will be destroyed- My kids have dropped my cell phone in sinks full of water, ripped up my favorite books, broken my most treasured elephants, wrote with pen all over my car. Kids destroy things. The end. You must find the humor in it. Or just hide everything you love until they go to college.
Mom life is messy, weird, frustrating — and ultimately hilarious.
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