Monthly Archives: May 2017

Losing My Shit Moments

As a parent there are times when we just can’t keep it all together.

Our job descriptions are large. Patient, loving, kind. Teacher of all things. Maker of mistakes. Supporter. Always encouraging. Chauffeur. Cook. All they while the expectations are high. Expectations that you will not lose your shit. That you will always have it all together as well as your outward appearance.

Well that has not been the case for me the past few days. I thought I’d share with you all the ways I have lost my shit the past few days. Maybe all in one day or spread throughout the course of a few days. Still, I’ve lost my shit a few times just in the first week of school being out.

We made a trip to Costco. We have Levi’s birthday party coming up and a big road trip coming. I wanted to have enough snacks and food for both. When we got to the car I asked Levi to put all the cold stuff in the cold bag. Easy, right? WRONG! He proceeded to throw a huge fit (because he couldn’t fill the bag) telling me he wants to move out so he can be more “Independent,” yet he can’t fill a damn cold grocery bag by himself. He yelled many other things at me like how I don’t love him while I finished loading the groceries ignoring him. Until I got in the car. I turned around to face him and lost it. Surprisingly, Calmly, Lost it. Telling him to move out and be independent you need to be responsible and be able to fill your own grocery bags. But if he wanted to move out when we got home, he could. We drove on to the Wal-Greens to pick up Delylahs meds but the whole way all I heard was how I don’t love Levi, he’s moving out and I’m such an Ass-Hole. Here is the real lose it moment…… We got out of the car and in the parking lot in front of who knows how many people (I did not give a shit at this point) I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him close to my face. I told him not to utter one more word. That he was to stay right next to me throughout the entire store with his mouth closed. I let him go, straightened out his clothes and we went in like nothing.

Ya, not the finest moment. But he was quiet from that moment on. When we got home, he took some time to himself and was remorseful for the awful things he was saying. UUUGGGHHHH! I so badly wanted to scream!

On a trip to Target to pick up other meds from the CVS inside there, we decided to check out books while we waited. Only this caused a meltdown with Delylah. I told her I would buy her a book but we had 15 minutes and we were leaving. She couldn’t pick a book. I gave her a couple of options which were not good enough and the meltdown began. Crying, upset over BOOKS! I started out calm, trying to help her pick out a book. None of my choices were good enough. It’s not like we are at a Barnes and Noble where the book selections are ginormous. It’s freaking Target. There is 1 row of books. Pick a damn book! After 30 minutes of crying I told her that’s it. I’m not waiting anymore. Pick a book or not, I’m walking away. Nothing but tears from here. But I walked away. Leaving my 7-year-old in the book section of Target.

Same thing happened over shoes at Famous Footwear. Why do us parents take our kids anywhere at this point? She could not pick out the perfect shoe. I was patient. An hour of patience. More than most parents have. But the crying. The crying is what gets me. Have a hard time finding shoes, that’s fine. But why do you have to cry about it? After an hour, she left with no shoes. We got in the car and I didn’t drive. They were dumbfounded for a minute. I didn’t even turn around but said, “Am I a Bad Mom?” What the hell was I doing wrong? Buying my kids new shoes that they need. New books because they want them and food and shit for their birthdays and a road trip?

On the way home from this same trip they were arguing with me about how they knew something and I didn’t. They were wrong though and I was telling them the facts and more so they would be more knowledgable about whatever it was we were talking about. They continued to argue with me that I was wrong. Again, I snapped. I said (quite rudely),” Why don’t you just tell me to shut up because I’m stupid?” The conversation ended and they knew I was over it all!

We don’t have to have it all together all the time. I certainly do not. Most people are afraid of onlookers and gossipers. I really don’t give 2 shits. I was doing something about my kids while trying to stay as patient as possible. Even in my lose it moments, I wasn’t yelling, screaming or cussing at them like you often see and hear. They way I react towards them (for the most part) teaches them how to react in intense situations. For the most part, I am calm. Unlike a grown up who usually knows when it’s time to stop, they are kids and don’t have a stopping point yet. They will get there but on that path I will lost my shit a few more times. Maybe a few more times a week.

Don’t feel bad when you lose your shit. It happens to everyone!

Happy Wednesday My Friends

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A Great Start To Summer Vacation

The first weekend without having to go back to school Monday has come and gone. We kicked off our Summer vacation by also ending the soccer season!

Delylah really enjoyed playing soccer this year. We made friends and she learned skills. I don’t think she gained a profound love for the sport but she does want to play again. We had a good coach and great little players!

The kids and I spent an entire day just messing around. We tried to play tennis. We found that we aren’t very good at it but we still tried. Delylah cried a lot because she wasn’t good at it. What could I do? We tried our hands at racket ball. Again, we weren’t very good and Delylah cried some more. We took our scooters to a skate park where both kids had attitudes so I scootered around hoping not to break myself. Finally, they were both brave enough to at least try it. Delylah cried though. She was too scared to do it. It was a day of crying. 98 degrees, humid as all hell and I had them at park doing stuff. How dare I try to have a fun day for my kids, OUTSIDE!

We ended up back at home in the pool. The perfect place. There was no crying! Thank goodness! There was only Dolphin and Alligator fights along with breaks for watermelon. I guess maybe the park was too much. I had fun there anyways.

I made a last-minute decision to head to the movies after this. We did not see the infamous new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Levi actually already saw it with friends and we are waiting to see it with Travis. But we saw the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie. Which I thought was very funny. It’s a bummer they don’t use the characters from previous movies but it was still very funny. Levi has read every book and loved telling us about every part. The theater we go to serves alcohol! Why would I not want to take my kids to the movies!?

That was all on Sunday. Monday was spent nursing this sick babe. To be fair she is always sick. And had what looked like “bug bites” on Saturday and Sunday. But by Monday they ended up like this and we had to do something else. I knew it was an allergic reaction and knew what she needed but of course on Memorial Day everyone is closed. We got what she needed and she is slowly getting better. After a night of her hallucinating from the meds, I am so ready for a nap and it’s not even 8 am.

Today we get more answers or more unanswered questions from the allergist. An awesome Costco trip as long as my sickie can handle it.

I’d say we’ve kicked off summer vacation with a bang! Nothing like a bunch of crying, swimming and sickness to do it right!

Happy Tuesday My Friends

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It Has Arrived, The Glorious Last Day Of School!!!!

It has finally arrived!

The last day of school!

I am elated that it is finally here! This has been a long, hard week with class parties, awards and final field trips.

The school year seemed to be here and gone in a flash. The kids both handled it differently in a new place but had some of the same tribulations.

Delylah is the social butterfly of the two. She wants for everyone to like her. She dislikes conflict and being in trouble. She doesn’t mind being in any type of social situation and will do anything in front of other people. I’d say she had a good year socially. Not great. She was bullied by friends but continued to be their friend because, well because she’s 7. She has lots of acquaintances because she talks to everyone but has only a couple of friends. Which I think is great. Academically she had a fantastic year. She is reading chapter books, excelling in math and loves to draw and write.

Levi is anti social but tried so hard to come out of his shell. He doesn’t like being the center of attention or any attention being called to him period. Going to a new school after being home-schooled and moving has got to be tough. Not just any school, but 6th grade! He made little to no friends over the course of this school year. There are kids who say they are his friends but won’t give him the time of day. Those aren’t friends and he knows it. They just went on a field trip to an arcade place yesterday and he came home so upset because no one would hang out with him. His “friends” wouldn’t hang out with him. They were all of a sudden too cool. It’s been a very hard year for him. Academically Levi did mediocre. He could have done better but let his emotions get the better of him.

For both of my kids and for different reasons, I am so happy that school is about to end. For a few short months there will be no pressure or being bullied from other kids. There will be fewer reasons for my kids to hate every minute of their lives here. It will be peaceful. No one will come home in the after noon upset or crying because of their mean fake friends.

For myself, there will be no more waking up at 5 am. Packing lunches. Making sure the laundry is always done. Making cookies constantly to cheer up my upset kids when they walk in the door. (sweets make everything better) Now I can make cookies for my already happy kids!

While many of you dread your kids being home all summer, I welcome it. Especially after the school year they have endured here.

After today, I have an intense 7th grader and blossoming 2nd grader!

Happy Friday My Friends

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Ways To Screw Up Your Kids

As if we needed any help in screwing them up anymore than we are already going to. Today we live in a society where everything you do or say to and with your children is scrutinized. Examples- “You are making those cookies with your kids? They are so unhealthy. Those snacks are full of sugar, they’re going to get cavities.” Just a few examples. When really you think baking cookies, no matter what kind, is spending quality time with your children. Another parent thinks otherwise.

Thank goodness for all those scrutinizing remarks or how else would I know that I’m screwing up my children! This all got me thinking about all the other ways I’m being irresponsible and screwing up my children and have been doing so for quite some time.

I’ve made a list of things that will help in the aid to screwing up your children too!

 1. Bake cookies with them. Making them fat and unhealthy.

 2. Let them play video games. No matter the rating, just letting them play is rotting their brain and teaching them horrible habits because they are going to apply whats happening in the game to real life.

3. Let them watch T.V. Turning into couch potatoes, slowly rotting their brains. Getting addicted to the Teen Titans or some other terrible kids cartoon.

4. Let them race their bikes with their friends. If you want them to join a motorcycle gang when they’re older.

5. Carry Them. If you want them to grow up to be lazy bums.

6. Take them to the zoo. If you want to teach them that keeping animals caged and in captivity are amusing concepts.

7. Read them books. If you want them to be dumb and never read a sign so they end up lost, or get a ticket for speeding because they can’t read. Great Job! Just keep reading to them….forever!

8. Push them on the swings. If you want them to learn that pushing is ok, even fun!

9. Hit up a fast food joint drive through so you can split a shake. If you want to teach them that drinking and driving is ok!

10. Draw with sidewalk chalk. If you want to raise graffiti-loving little hoodlums defacing public property.

11. Dance with them. If you want them to grow up and be XXX adult dancers!

12. Start a collection: rocks, stamps, coins, etc. If you want them to grow up and be hoarders surrounding themselves in their treasures!

13. Play Hide and Seek. If you want them to learn to run and hide away from their problems.

14. Play puppets with them. If you want to teach them to speak for someone else.

15. Fly a kite. If you want them to disrespect nature. Kite gets caught in a tree. LITTERER! Bird gets ensnared in string. MURDERER!

16. Build a fort. If you want to encourage antisocial behavior and seclusion.

17. Play Simon says. If you want to raise little Adolf’s!

18. Start a garden with them. If you want them to grow up and be poor farmers.

19. Swim with floaties. If you want them to always latch on to something or someone and never do things on their own.

20. Blow bubbles. Because we all know that leads to something else…..eh hum…..

21. When they are sick give them medicine. If you want them to grow up and be drug addicts.

22. Write an article about random unsolicited advice from other parents. If you want them to grow up and not care what other people think and say! (I don’t think this one will actually screw them up!)

23. Teach them sarcasm. Some people will get it, some people won’t. Some people will like it and some people won’t. I happen to like…if you couldn’t tell.

I Don’t Care What Anyone Else Says. Enjoy Screwing Up Your Kids With Me!

Happy Thursday My Friends

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